Tell me something. And I want you to be truthful. When was the last time you felt ok? Not the alcohol induced coma you find yourself suffocated with every Friday night or the fleeting euphoria of a drug high that clogs your unconscious with an unexplainable evil that, when your childish eyes have seen the horrors I have, you will understand. That is actually far from ok but the naivety I see so many people intoxicated with tells them the opposite. People live with tunnel vision and it often doesn’t occur to them that there is life away from their social media followers and the group chat that slowly takes away months of their life. I’m guilty of the typical. I hate that.
My Psychologist said I have to let people figure everything out by themselves. I skipped this part, you see. I crashed into a world of aftermaths. The sickening reality of wasted youth and lukewarm potential. I skipped the drunken nights and teenage rebelling and, more than likely, I will one day make up for lost time. But when you’re faced with the purest evils you can imagine and you have met the most broken souls you can see, somehow the snapchats from the boy that can’t remember what you said last week really don’t seem as important as these troubled minds like to make them. Hospitals are not the place you sit and dwell with mates about the messages they got sent that day.
I hate the fact I struggled and missed out. But I have to admit I am grateful for the sense of reality it gave me. The chance to experience life with a mind that can establish the difference between the petty and the vital. The socially acceptable happiness and the real happy. The ok that you can’t argue with.
Because I think the sad thing is that we party to escape the reality of our lives and we flood our blood with these anaesthetics to forget what we can’t escape. Temporary morphine that leaves you with a worse pain. Your unhealthy coping mechanism is socially acceptable at this age.
If you find your only happiness with partying and alcohol I am so sorry because I know how addicting an unhealthy comfort can be. Mine nearly killed me.
Stay safe and look after yourself.