The stifling smoke of this world’s morality burning up in flames is starting to fill my lungs and labour my breathing. I know I’m not alone in feeling this – there is so much damage everywhere, maybe our minds are slowly developing an immunity to recognising it. The way your brain blocks out certain voices, smells and sounds to avoid sensory overload. Maybe if we saw the true extent of society’s destruction, the sadness would be too much for our souls to handle and it would be too heavy to hold. Maybe we can’t handle it. Is that why when we see these awful social media posts, these discriminative voices, we just ignore. Do we think if we ignore it it will just go away. I’ve tried that tactic with so many things, but *spoiler alert* it doesn’t work. Ignore your exams and they will go away – nope. Ignore your fears and they’ll go away – I’m afraid not. It doesn’t work.
I know a little girl, who says she’s too fat. She needs to lose weight. I know another child who wants nose surgery. I know people who should not even know what these things are. They can barely read, yet they know what lip fillers are. They are yet to learn the most fundamentally important things in life, yet to be educated about huge scientific breakthroughs. Yet they already know how to dislike their bodies. They barely had to be taught.
I know people who spend weekends surrounded by decaying beer bottles, the aroma of stale alcohol hanging in the air. They flood their veins with the socially acceptable anaesthetic, drown out all their thoughts and cognitive abilities. It works for a bit, but then the anaesthetic wears of, and the pain is much worse than it was before. So quick quick quick they drip the venom through their stomach and let it cloud all their logic.
I know people who’s lungs are charred and decaying from cigarette smoke. Who’s eyes have that far-off look that you would expect to see reflected by somebody about to pass out. You see, they say eyes show everything, but what does it mean when they show absolutely nothing.
I know people with bruised skin and locked lips. I know people who aren’t living anymore, just surviving – floating from day to day like the wisp of a ghost. I know people afraid to leave their house, an unwilling prisoner of their very own home. I know people afraid of their home.
I know people who are afraid of people. I know people who spend 2 hours getting ready just so they can fill like they fit in. What are they trying to fit into though?
I’ve met girls who cut apples into 32 pieces before chewing. I’ve met girls afraid of mirrors.
I’ve seen people screaming and crying and sobbing and dieting and drinking and yelling and smoking and typing and bruising and bleeding and running and fading and shrinking and breaking and snapping.
But it’s all fine. Society’s fine. We’re all fine.